Kunspeerasie!

Very shortly after La Rotonde published an article about some of the bloggers, the winners of the iPod Touches were announced to be exactly those bloggers who were pictured in the article (scroll to page 10).

I suspect someone at La Rotonde had inside information. Or that Wassim hates lulz. Or that a future studying E-Publishing (which sounds like fancy words to say blogging) gets you free shit.

Not that I care. We didn't want one anyway. Just wanted to point out that there's clearly a conspiracy.

Don't worry though, AppleDave will be safe. He is wearing his conspiracy helmet.

full of win

Where have the lulz been for the past while, you ask? Well, we are not lulzing very hard right now, but are just watching. Other blogs have the n00z covered pretty well. We'll be back with the funnehz when the funnehz come back to us. Which could potentially be tonight. We'll see.

But while I have you, it's worth pointing out that with the way the federated body elections are going, we probably could stage a blogger coup from the inside. Then the dream team might come to pass after all!

There's tons of corruption and lulz already. Why shouldn't we get a crack at it, right?

Doing it for the lulz.

The dear old BOA...they do it for the lulz. Teh konstitutionz is not a cool guy. Eh is not worth following and is afraid of everything, lawl. I wonder what it feels like to be a BOA director...Must feel really powerful. Using the constitution as a sort of RL e-penis...woah. I can just imagine: "Let's create by-laws so we can pretend we have power. However, when the time will come to follow them, we won't. We'll just make up new rules on the spot, duh. Har har. Har har har. Pass me some brandy."

Or, you know...Maybe the board ran out of shit tickets.

Perhaps it would also have been wise for the defendants to abstain from choosing the parameters of their judgment. They were also doing for the lulz. They trolled the board, and were like "Wut, bitch? You wan' a piece of dis? We's going to votez anyways, muhfucka! Policies ain't worth shit, yo. Brrrrrap! Fuck da police."

The problem is that you can't pick and choose what parts of the constitution you like, and change what you don't like as you go along. And even if you can (which is possible), how little sense does it make that the defendant in a case can choose the parameters of the arbitration, but that the plaintiff gets no say. An abstention would have been appropriate. An abstention there was not.

Who know what'll happen. The "i" word has been thrown around. The constitution was burned in front of Tabaret. Someone (not a board member) has already contested the Chair's decision from last night to...the SAC.

It's a shit storm. Hopefully something good will come of this, not immediately. Sometimes, it's better to rebuild from the ashes. No doubt in my mind, it is broken.

not m0ar important than ur job

You know what the worst part about this appeal is?

The accused, three of which are current SFUO exec, are so busy trying to defend themselves, dodge bullets, and/or find backdoors and loopholes that they are neglecting to do their jobs.

If anyone else trying to do any student politicking relevant to students (instead of name-calling and hair-pulling) has noticed that the Fed, especially the accused, are useless right now, I'd love to hear your issues too.

Funny pictarz and more chirping to come when I'm not at work.

SFUO fantasy draft

Yes, Fanta C draft!

Nau, I haz sum kestchunz...

Firstly, mysterious student who had something to say post-elections, what happened to you? You have not responded to my emails or sent me this scoop you mentioned. I am starting to think you are mighty fraudsterly.

Secondly, who's the boss?

I'm seeing posters and facebooks around for the federated body elections. It's that time of year again, and while it seems like positions are being filled with ease and enthusiasm, I'm sure my fellow round table candidates are wondering who will lead them. Even the UART doesn't know who to follow - while Ted Horton will technically sit in the captain's chair, he might have had puppet strings attached by Mr. Wolfe. Or not, because (as the SAC expressed in their letter) not arguing their case makes it hard to decide in favour of the alleged slate.

I have come up with a suggestion for the SAC. Throw out the elections results entirely, even the people who were not on a slate, and appoint to the 2009-2010 SFUO these people:

President: Chris Ballew. A President of the United States of America, and very fond of peaches, he can clearly handle the job with the Fed. Yes he can.

Vice President University Affairs: Jerry Seinfeld. If he can speak for Microsoft, he can speak for me. Besides, I think we need someone more personable to deal with the politicians to get us a U-Pass and lower tuition. Aggressive green-collar activists and politicians tend not to see eye-to-eye. Maybe celebrity comedian is the way to go.

Vice President Social Affairs: Gary Brolsma. I cannot think of anyone more personable. Just watch.

Vice President Student Affairs: Nazira Rafei. No one knows more about student affairs than a teacher having affairs with her students. That's what this position does, right? (Un?)Luckily, she isn't going to jail over it, which means she is free to sit on the SFUO in May.

Vice President Finance: Pavi Binning, CFO of Nortel. I don't think I need to say any more, he clearly knows what he's doing.

Vice President Communication: boxxy. No one
can comminucate as well as this fox. She's managed to capture the attention, positive and negative, of the whole internets, and would work wonders on the visibility of SFUO events around campus.

I am aware that most of them are not students. That is not a problem for me, though. The SFUO needs some fresh meat, and what's more fresh than people from outside the community?

Or, if you like, I've got another suggestion. Use some bloggers:

President: Pretti Kitti
UAffairs: Kyle Ryc
Social: Apple Dave
Student: Logan Ouellette
Finance: Fedesaurus
Comm: girl4

Yeah, on second thought, use us. The members of the SFUO wouldn't know what hit them :)

I'll be back.

-AppleDave

P.S., thanks to everyone who ate my tasty apples at the iPod battle, and apologies to Mr. Stuart that I'd run out :(

Edit: Here are some non-exec positions within the SFUO that are also filled by bloggers.

BOA Chair: Ken Joly
Executive Coordinator: cartoonmadonna
101 Week Coordinator: flamenco pirate
Campaigns Coordinator: iBlogSFUO
Other coordinators: vacant, bloggers need apply to be hired ;-)

It might as well have been a Monster Truck Rally...

I apologize for interrupting the blogging on Friday. As you may have read on other blogs, or as you may have heard through word of mouth, Friday's hearing had to be interrupted, due to too much rage in the room.

The whole thing was a circus, a farce. And yet, this once, there were very few lulz. These people (and their people) --I lump in both sides, here -- are taking shit WAY too seriously. Or not seriously enough. I'm not sure which. Perhaps both.

I am interrupting my blogging on SFUOlulz, due to major CANCER in this process. When there is cancer, there are no lulz. I'm not laughing. Not even at other people's expense. It was pathetic.

Stay tuned for the spinoff blog.

And we're live!

There are definetly over 75 people in this room. Person count to come. My inside sources say that there are front row seats for La Rotonde. Marc Kelly is in the corner with a camera as usual, and with Mireille. People have signs, people are here to protest.

It's a circus, and we are here, covering the lulz.

4:21: Mr. Fancie is holding a sign that reads "Face It, You Lost!", as are many other members of the audience.

We now have a count of about 75 people sitting down, plus a count of about 30 people standing up (or without a seat.)

4:25: The accused just walked into the room. Cheering in half the room. Other half is pretty quiet.

Menyazs now has a sign that says "Face It You Cheated". This shit is getting intense.

The arbitrators are in da HOUSE!

4:27: Shit just got REAL quiet! And intense. The accused look nervous. I have a front row seat to Renaud's back. Maybe it's better that way.

4:30: Accusations of racism flying around. Something about the KKK.....Maybe we're taking it too far, kids...Too far.

In other news, I've just been handed popcorn. Lovely.

4:31: Arbitrator in Chief will be speaking french. The Plaintifs and Defendants and being introduced.

The room is sweaty. It's not as tasty as it sounds.

4:33: Branden Clancy is giving the guidelines for the hearing: Opening statements, facts, "legal arguments" (constitution != law....), and then closing arguments.

They can pool their times. It's hot in herrr... A pool would be nice.

I think Jason Benevoy (BOA, droit civil) is representing the defendents.

I'd summarize what he's saying, but it's all rather procedural...I'm not much into proceedure. Parties have a right to object, as well as the SAC.

Questions? They have none.

4:36: Basic multimedia, turn off your cellphones, this show is on the road!

4:37: Parties are asked if they are accepting the arbitration. Defendents are asking for a statement: Roxanne says: improvised process, parties were not allowed to participate in the selection of arbitrators, could not propose new proofs, unfair process.

It's actually kinda heartbreaking. Kitties have hearts. I actually feel bad for her.

Talks of a more equitable process in the future.

4:40: Julie now makes a statement.

Unfair process. Presented her proofs, led her own campaign, did not participate in anyone else's campaign. Does not believe in the process as executed. Cites constitution articles. SAC refused proofs after the deadline. They are at a disadvantage. Public criticism, accusations in the newspapers, the process is not equitable for all parties. Irregulier...alleatoire...pas de justice rendue aujourd'hui. Refuses to engage in the arbitration today.

Demands that the BOA decide the outcome.

4:43: JG now...lots of statements...

The plaintifs are against change. Perplexed, rejects the process (like Rox and Julie). Same or similar reasons. Will not reitterate. Typing is tiring.

I don't know how those BOA liveblog cats do it. Kudos ladies and-or gentlemen. I'm not sure how long I'll last.

4:46: MOOOOOOAR STATEMENTS LULZ!!!!!

SEAMUS NOW! I'm sorry, but these are essentially carbon copies of eachother. I'm bored. Could one statement be made together? Or would that imply a slate?

I'm confused.

4:48: Signs are being held high, silence is asked again.

Objection from MH.

Seamus is peacing out. So are the rest of them. It's over? WUT!?

U CAN HAZ LIVEBLOGZ!!??

Pretti Kitti will liveblog this SAC hearing you've been hearing so much about.

And eating lauts and lauts of poppycorn.