SFUO fantasy draft

Yes, Fanta C draft!

Nau, I haz sum kestchunz...

Firstly, mysterious student who had something to say post-elections, what happened to you? You have not responded to my emails or sent me this scoop you mentioned. I am starting to think you are mighty fraudsterly.

Secondly, who's the boss?

I'm seeing posters and facebooks around for the federated body elections. It's that time of year again, and while it seems like positions are being filled with ease and enthusiasm, I'm sure my fellow round table candidates are wondering who will lead them. Even the UART doesn't know who to follow - while Ted Horton will technically sit in the captain's chair, he might have had puppet strings attached by Mr. Wolfe. Or not, because (as the SAC expressed in their letter) not arguing their case makes it hard to decide in favour of the alleged slate.

I have come up with a suggestion for the SAC. Throw out the elections results entirely, even the people who were not on a slate, and appoint to the 2009-2010 SFUO these people:

President: Chris Ballew. A President of the United States of America, and very fond of peaches, he can clearly handle the job with the Fed. Yes he can.

Vice President University Affairs: Jerry Seinfeld. If he can speak for Microsoft, he can speak for me. Besides, I think we need someone more personable to deal with the politicians to get us a U-Pass and lower tuition. Aggressive green-collar activists and politicians tend not to see eye-to-eye. Maybe celebrity comedian is the way to go.

Vice President Social Affairs: Gary Brolsma. I cannot think of anyone more personable. Just watch.

Vice President Student Affairs: Nazira Rafei. No one knows more about student affairs than a teacher having affairs with her students. That's what this position does, right? (Un?)Luckily, she isn't going to jail over it, which means she is free to sit on the SFUO in May.

Vice President Finance: Pavi Binning, CFO of Nortel. I don't think I need to say any more, he clearly knows what he's doing.

Vice President Communication: boxxy. No one
can comminucate as well as this fox. She's managed to capture the attention, positive and negative, of the whole internets, and would work wonders on the visibility of SFUO events around campus.

I am aware that most of them are not students. That is not a problem for me, though. The SFUO needs some fresh meat, and what's more fresh than people from outside the community?

Or, if you like, I've got another suggestion. Use some bloggers:

President: Pretti Kitti
UAffairs: Kyle Ryc
Social: Apple Dave
Student: Logan Ouellette
Finance: Fedesaurus
Comm: girl4

Yeah, on second thought, use us. The members of the SFUO wouldn't know what hit them :)

I'll be back.

-AppleDave

P.S., thanks to everyone who ate my tasty apples at the iPod battle, and apologies to Mr. Stuart that I'd run out :(

Edit: Here are some non-exec positions within the SFUO that are also filled by bloggers.

BOA Chair: Ken Joly
Executive Coordinator: cartoonmadonna
101 Week Coordinator: flamenco pirate
Campaigns Coordinator: iBlogSFUO
Other coordinators: vacant, bloggers need apply to be hired ;-)