You know you want it.

http://fedforthought.blogspot.com/

I'm moving on to bigger, blogger things, folks. New year, new team. Follow us at Fed For Thought for all your Fed news needs. Do not worry - we're just as charming as you came to love us here at SFUOlulz.

I'll miss you, Fedesaurus and Pretti Kitti!

spread your legs and your sheets

...because I haz a spredshietz! BAM!

I've been tracking election results, and have compiled for all of you to the best of my ability...

The SFUO Round Tables List for 2009-2010!

Just in case you've been elected, and want to face-stalk the rest of your RT before you actually meet them. Or maybe I'm the only one who is creepy like that. I don't know.

There might be some holes or misinformation on there still - I've confirmed very little, and am just throwing this up now so it's actually out before Leaderaction where everyone will just meet each other anyway. BAM!

Plus, those of you who are not involved (if there even are any who read this blog), you can now see who to hold accountable for things happening on campus, since I am not aware of anywhere else you can find a list like this.

BAM!

Note - if I missed your executive, it isn't because I don't like you guys. I love everyone who has passion enough to get involved on campus in some way. Student leaders are admirable, whatever they's leadin'. It's just that you're a sub-association (member associations of SAFA, clubs of CETSC, groups under the ESS, etc) or you're not heavily affiliated with the SFUO (droit civil), so you didn't make sense to go on this list, or I just couldn't find any infos about you (nutrition, other).

Kunspeerasie!

Very shortly after La Rotonde published an article about some of the bloggers, the winners of the iPod Touches were announced to be exactly those bloggers who were pictured in the article (scroll to page 10).

I suspect someone at La Rotonde had inside information. Or that Wassim hates lulz. Or that a future studying E-Publishing (which sounds like fancy words to say blogging) gets you free shit.

Not that I care. We didn't want one anyway. Just wanted to point out that there's clearly a conspiracy.

Don't worry though, AppleDave will be safe. He is wearing his conspiracy helmet.

full of win

Where have the lulz been for the past while, you ask? Well, we are not lulzing very hard right now, but are just watching. Other blogs have the n00z covered pretty well. We'll be back with the funnehz when the funnehz come back to us. Which could potentially be tonight. We'll see.

But while I have you, it's worth pointing out that with the way the federated body elections are going, we probably could stage a blogger coup from the inside. Then the dream team might come to pass after all!

There's tons of corruption and lulz already. Why shouldn't we get a crack at it, right?

Doing it for the lulz.

The dear old BOA...they do it for the lulz. Teh konstitutionz is not a cool guy. Eh is not worth following and is afraid of everything, lawl. I wonder what it feels like to be a BOA director...Must feel really powerful. Using the constitution as a sort of RL e-penis...woah. I can just imagine: "Let's create by-laws so we can pretend we have power. However, when the time will come to follow them, we won't. We'll just make up new rules on the spot, duh. Har har. Har har har. Pass me some brandy."

Or, you know...Maybe the board ran out of shit tickets.

Perhaps it would also have been wise for the defendants to abstain from choosing the parameters of their judgment. They were also doing for the lulz. They trolled the board, and were like "Wut, bitch? You wan' a piece of dis? We's going to votez anyways, muhfucka! Policies ain't worth shit, yo. Brrrrrap! Fuck da police."

The problem is that you can't pick and choose what parts of the constitution you like, and change what you don't like as you go along. And even if you can (which is possible), how little sense does it make that the defendant in a case can choose the parameters of the arbitration, but that the plaintiff gets no say. An abstention would have been appropriate. An abstention there was not.

Who know what'll happen. The "i" word has been thrown around. The constitution was burned in front of Tabaret. Someone (not a board member) has already contested the Chair's decision from last night to...the SAC.

It's a shit storm. Hopefully something good will come of this, not immediately. Sometimes, it's better to rebuild from the ashes. No doubt in my mind, it is broken.

not m0ar important than ur job

You know what the worst part about this appeal is?

The accused, three of which are current SFUO exec, are so busy trying to defend themselves, dodge bullets, and/or find backdoors and loopholes that they are neglecting to do their jobs.

If anyone else trying to do any student politicking relevant to students (instead of name-calling and hair-pulling) has noticed that the Fed, especially the accused, are useless right now, I'd love to hear your issues too.

Funny pictarz and more chirping to come when I'm not at work.

SFUO fantasy draft

Yes, Fanta C draft!

Nau, I haz sum kestchunz...

Firstly, mysterious student who had something to say post-elections, what happened to you? You have not responded to my emails or sent me this scoop you mentioned. I am starting to think you are mighty fraudsterly.

Secondly, who's the boss?

I'm seeing posters and facebooks around for the federated body elections. It's that time of year again, and while it seems like positions are being filled with ease and enthusiasm, I'm sure my fellow round table candidates are wondering who will lead them. Even the UART doesn't know who to follow - while Ted Horton will technically sit in the captain's chair, he might have had puppet strings attached by Mr. Wolfe. Or not, because (as the SAC expressed in their letter) not arguing their case makes it hard to decide in favour of the alleged slate.

I have come up with a suggestion for the SAC. Throw out the elections results entirely, even the people who were not on a slate, and appoint to the 2009-2010 SFUO these people:

President: Chris Ballew. A President of the United States of America, and very fond of peaches, he can clearly handle the job with the Fed. Yes he can.

Vice President University Affairs: Jerry Seinfeld. If he can speak for Microsoft, he can speak for me. Besides, I think we need someone more personable to deal with the politicians to get us a U-Pass and lower tuition. Aggressive green-collar activists and politicians tend not to see eye-to-eye. Maybe celebrity comedian is the way to go.

Vice President Social Affairs: Gary Brolsma. I cannot think of anyone more personable. Just watch.

Vice President Student Affairs: Nazira Rafei. No one knows more about student affairs than a teacher having affairs with her students. That's what this position does, right? (Un?)Luckily, she isn't going to jail over it, which means she is free to sit on the SFUO in May.

Vice President Finance: Pavi Binning, CFO of Nortel. I don't think I need to say any more, he clearly knows what he's doing.

Vice President Communication: boxxy. No one
can comminucate as well as this fox. She's managed to capture the attention, positive and negative, of the whole internets, and would work wonders on the visibility of SFUO events around campus.

I am aware that most of them are not students. That is not a problem for me, though. The SFUO needs some fresh meat, and what's more fresh than people from outside the community?

Or, if you like, I've got another suggestion. Use some bloggers:

President: Pretti Kitti
UAffairs: Kyle Ryc
Social: Apple Dave
Student: Logan Ouellette
Finance: Fedesaurus
Comm: girl4

Yeah, on second thought, use us. The members of the SFUO wouldn't know what hit them :)

I'll be back.

-AppleDave

P.S., thanks to everyone who ate my tasty apples at the iPod battle, and apologies to Mr. Stuart that I'd run out :(

Edit: Here are some non-exec positions within the SFUO that are also filled by bloggers.

BOA Chair: Ken Joly
Executive Coordinator: cartoonmadonna
101 Week Coordinator: flamenco pirate
Campaigns Coordinator: iBlogSFUO
Other coordinators: vacant, bloggers need apply to be hired ;-)

It might as well have been a Monster Truck Rally...

I apologize for interrupting the blogging on Friday. As you may have read on other blogs, or as you may have heard through word of mouth, Friday's hearing had to be interrupted, due to too much rage in the room.

The whole thing was a circus, a farce. And yet, this once, there were very few lulz. These people (and their people) --I lump in both sides, here -- are taking shit WAY too seriously. Or not seriously enough. I'm not sure which. Perhaps both.

I am interrupting my blogging on SFUOlulz, due to major CANCER in this process. When there is cancer, there are no lulz. I'm not laughing. Not even at other people's expense. It was pathetic.

Stay tuned for the spinoff blog.

And we're live!

There are definetly over 75 people in this room. Person count to come. My inside sources say that there are front row seats for La Rotonde. Marc Kelly is in the corner with a camera as usual, and with Mireille. People have signs, people are here to protest.

It's a circus, and we are here, covering the lulz.

4:21: Mr. Fancie is holding a sign that reads "Face It, You Lost!", as are many other members of the audience.

We now have a count of about 75 people sitting down, plus a count of about 30 people standing up (or without a seat.)

4:25: The accused just walked into the room. Cheering in half the room. Other half is pretty quiet.

Menyazs now has a sign that says "Face It You Cheated". This shit is getting intense.

The arbitrators are in da HOUSE!

4:27: Shit just got REAL quiet! And intense. The accused look nervous. I have a front row seat to Renaud's back. Maybe it's better that way.

4:30: Accusations of racism flying around. Something about the KKK.....Maybe we're taking it too far, kids...Too far.

In other news, I've just been handed popcorn. Lovely.

4:31: Arbitrator in Chief will be speaking french. The Plaintifs and Defendants and being introduced.

The room is sweaty. It's not as tasty as it sounds.

4:33: Branden Clancy is giving the guidelines for the hearing: Opening statements, facts, "legal arguments" (constitution != law....), and then closing arguments.

They can pool their times. It's hot in herrr... A pool would be nice.

I think Jason Benevoy (BOA, droit civil) is representing the defendents.

I'd summarize what he's saying, but it's all rather procedural...I'm not much into proceedure. Parties have a right to object, as well as the SAC.

Questions? They have none.

4:36: Basic multimedia, turn off your cellphones, this show is on the road!

4:37: Parties are asked if they are accepting the arbitration. Defendents are asking for a statement: Roxanne says: improvised process, parties were not allowed to participate in the selection of arbitrators, could not propose new proofs, unfair process.

It's actually kinda heartbreaking. Kitties have hearts. I actually feel bad for her.

Talks of a more equitable process in the future.

4:40: Julie now makes a statement.

Unfair process. Presented her proofs, led her own campaign, did not participate in anyone else's campaign. Does not believe in the process as executed. Cites constitution articles. SAC refused proofs after the deadline. They are at a disadvantage. Public criticism, accusations in the newspapers, the process is not equitable for all parties. Irregulier...alleatoire...pas de justice rendue aujourd'hui. Refuses to engage in the arbitration today.

Demands that the BOA decide the outcome.

4:43: JG now...lots of statements...

The plaintifs are against change. Perplexed, rejects the process (like Rox and Julie). Same or similar reasons. Will not reitterate. Typing is tiring.

I don't know how those BOA liveblog cats do it. Kudos ladies and-or gentlemen. I'm not sure how long I'll last.

4:46: MOOOOOOAR STATEMENTS LULZ!!!!!

SEAMUS NOW! I'm sorry, but these are essentially carbon copies of eachother. I'm bored. Could one statement be made together? Or would that imply a slate?

I'm confused.

4:48: Signs are being held high, silence is asked again.

Objection from MH.

Seamus is peacing out. So are the rest of them. It's over? WUT!?

U CAN HAZ LIVEBLOGZ!!??

Pretti Kitti will liveblog this SAC hearing you've been hearing so much about.

And eating lauts and lauts of poppycorn.

LOL WUT?

Elections.

This blogger thought they were done. The results, they were announced. E-voting crapped a little bit, but not all over the place. Acceptable. Civil. Respectful, even. Heck, THE most respectful elections we've seen in recent memory.

So....LOL WUT?

The logic of a losing candidate baffles me. "These people ran a slate! They did! We have proof! Don't ratify their election! Give the victory to the runner-up. Oh, wait!! That's me?? LAWL! How convenient!"

No. Wrong. Try again.

Another elections fail. And this time, it's not the Elections Bureau. Wassim, you may stop sweating those buckets. The heat is off you and onto someone else. Life is good.

The bottom line is that those 36% who voted for Seamus...would they *really* have voted for RPG? See, there's the problem. You can't really give it to the runner-up (if the appeal is in their favor), because you can't guarantee that that is the will of the students...

I know more than one Seamus voter who would rather transfer their vote to Steeves...

Use teh e-votz then hold back resultz

So here is how we do things at the fed. Run an online e-vote election then:
“Ou une heure” - Haldenby

Umm what? I thought that kompewtars were fast? Maybe these servers run on faildows or something. But last time I heard computers are really good at counting numbers.

SELECT firstname, lastname, votes from Candidates where position="president" order by votes desc;

Know what that does? It grabs all the presidential candidates and orders them by votes with the winner on the top.

Computers, they are great.

I have a message for you Mr. Dean. Stop fucking with us and get us those damn results. I'd swear you were doing this by paper.

Bucket O' Fail.

Too Much American Apparel Per Square Inch

OMGLOLBBQ!!!!11!!one! Polls are closed. That's it. At least for now. There are rumors of people already wanting to contest the results regardless of what they are...You know, for once, I actually disagree with that idea. I know. Shocking.

I'm hiding away from 1848 until the results. My prediction on the hat percentage was correct. There's also too much American Apparel in that room at the moment.

I sound like a grandma. For the record, I used to be cool. I had a MySpace, and I camwhored like everyone else. What happened?

My 20's.

musch fangks

Hello bloggers and blogreaders!

I'll be at the ipod battle tonight giving away thank-you apples for reading and enjoying our blag.

Look for the guy wearing this bag and tell him, "Give me an apple, AppleDave!"

I totally will.

See you tonight!

seekrit daddi?

Does anyone else hear a similarity between the voices of this candidate and this guy?

Maybe they are the same. Maybe Jim Henson's spirit lives in Jeremy Stuart's body. Maybe they are secretly father and son. Who knows.

In any event, Kermit here got my vote.

The elections will finish tomorrow. I received an email from a student saying they'd like something published in the coming days after the election, and as this is their favourite elections blog, we (and the Fulcrum, of course, but they won't publish til next week) get the scoop. So stay tuned.

The Final Countdown

That's really all I have to say.

Thanks, and have a great election results night.

I'll be at the iBattle, possibly with a funny chapeau. And much, much sauce. Look for the drunk girl with a hat...

OH WAIT! It's a scenester paradise...that'll be 25% of women present. My bad.

Tonight, Pretti Kitti will pee on everything you own. That's a promise.

People have lost their votes/ballots because of Colonel By's internet connection taking a huge dump all over the place. Probably thousands of people have not received their PINs yet. People are actually expressing frustration at the length of time it takes to vote, and are giving up. People are not down with the e-vote.

Me?

Schadenfreude.



I still want my PIN. Nao.

UPDATE (14:38): Pretti Kitti received her ballot and voted. Democracy has never previously flustered me to this extent. Aside, perhaps, for the 2008 Canadian Federal Elections.
Steven Harper has no soul.

Cup o' Fail - Now in SFUO Elections flavour

Well.. here we have it. Elections day. Or is it? Definitely not for me.
Now, it's too early so I am just going to use some images to display how I feel about this great SFUO elections fail that has happened.







Maybe when (if?) this problem gets resolved I will take back my comment about the SFUO elections and it's bucket of fail.
Who am I trying to kid. No I won't.

edit-- Sure... why not add another picture?

I can haz PIN numberz ??!lawl!

It seems that the Elections Bureau is experiencing some difficulties...
Certain students (including yours truly) have not received their PIN at this time.

I woke up super early to get excited about democracy. See how excited I am now? This is what my happy face looks like:
In other news, as reported by La Rotonde, it seems that candidates are having an identity crisis on the ballot...The links leading to their platform (for most) leads to another candidate's (at least on the french version of the ballot).

Oh, and the explanation to every referendum is Kyle Simunovic's platform...

I lulzed, but it's too damn early to be clever about it.

UPDATE (9:50): Still no PIN number.

UPDATE (10:26): For those of you who still have not received a PIN, I am told that if you still have not received one by noon today, there is definitely a problem.

I will update if I get more info on the situation.

UPDATE (10:53): There are reports of people's online ballots not working. More on this, as soon as we get details.


UPDATE (11:14): It seems that La Rotonde had made a mistake regarding the information published under the platforms links. There were allegedly no irregularities.

Hax. Do you use them?

Hax. Do we use them?
That is the question.

The answer is simple. No.

An anon mentioned about teh e-votez and teh hax. Hax we shall not dew.

E-votez. Bad? Yes.

But teh memberz of teh SFUO who oppose this, we are not your army

Nau. Tiem to grab some pillz.